Tuesday, July 14, 2009

"Frenemy"

From Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Eleventh Edition:

Main Entry: frenemy
Pronunciation:
\ˈfre-nə-mē\
Function:
noun
Inflected Form(s):
plural fren·e·mies
Etymology:
blend of friend and enemy
Date:
1977
: one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy

So... my best friend just stabbed me in the face today. He was always there to catch my tears as I found incorrect applications of words, he never tired of explaining the simplest concepts to me time and time again. Even when he had to spell it out for me, he was always clear and constant.
However, following the release of this so-called "updated" eleventh edition of Merriam-Webster, my world will never be the same again. And you thought "ginormous" was the limit. Really? Does frenemy sound professional in any way? In colloquial context:
"Liiiiiike, she was mos def asking for that biatch slap after she stole your bf. Whatta frenemy."
Et tu, Merriam-Webster? I certainly expected this out of effervescent seventh grade girls, but it doesn't belong in cold, irreconcilable Merriam. Or so I thought. Who are you trying to impress, editors? Your 13-year-old kid? Guess what? Reading the dictionary is still so totally uncool.

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